Distance and Reach

I took husband’s cousin’s exasperated call.  She, an esteemed professor who lives in Virginia was in Los Angeles for professional reasons, but made time to take her African-born husband and young son across town to lunch with Jack. Following the date, she asked my mother-in-law for driving directions from the Westside to the Wilshire Grand hotel in downtown LA. Go figure.  She spent hours with Jack. It is pretty obvious that Jack is in a wheelchair.  Her advice was S#(@!  So, after the cousin ended up in a ghetto she called our cell phone.  Because husband was driving at the time, I, the passenger picked up and coached her back to Wilshire. I am quite sure I will never be recognized for my contributions. She got her family to the hotel without incident. My point, why would you count on Jack for directions? 

Okay, she may inspire confidence because nothing seems to deter her from getting from point A to point B.  Just by way of example, she had the notion that she wanted husband to celebrate his birthday at brunch at the Magic Castle.  After a few calls she realized that an invitation from a member was required for us to get a reservation.  She tried to score a connection through her sole entertainment-business buddy, Marge, a neighbor who appears in headache commercials.  When Jack, deflated, reported the dead-end I tried to come up with alternatives. A day or two later, however, husband mysteriously received a calling card from a Magic Castle member.  A little digging revealed that Jack advertised in Craigslist for the invitation.

Similarly, few things come between the old lady and a snack.  If the object she desires is on a high shelf or in the back of the refrigerator she jimmies it out with my late father-in-law’s cane. Though she cannot shop in supermarkets, the market gladly comes to her bearing a tower of food bins delivered directly into the kitchen. If it’s an apple pie from McDonald’s she is craving she’ll pay someone to score it for her.

Once, when I was newly married to my husband and my father-in-law was still alive, Jack became furious with the slow service at a neighborhood Chinese food restaurant. But, when it became clear that she meant to wheel into the kitchen to yell at the staff, my husband--who is quite strong--grasped a wheel and kept her at the table.  From a family dynamic perspective, it is interesting to me that my late father-in-law did not attempt to prevent her from making that scene, and my husband, who is a pacifist, did. 

As a daughter-in-law, I have always chafed against that strong disposition. For example, for years I have begged her not to feed my animals because she feeds them toxic treats to excess. But, her will to feed them overshadows my reasonable request.  Fortunately, we have few outright conflicts these days.  A recent one however is quite silly as I put it to paper.  She, husband and I were in the kitchen, as husband and I were pulling dinner together from her recent, crazy supermarket delivery. She suddenly gassed the lever to the wheelchair, backed up without any thought and pinned me against the open door of the refrigerator.  I screamed and yelled for her to stop her recklessness.  Her retort was something snide.  My poor husband.  As I stormed off, he explained to her I was under a lot of pressure at work. Yeah.